It's time to let go...

Let me preface this by informing you that, after a recent check-up for yet another problematic cyst on my only remaining ovary, my doctor and I have decided to resolve my pains of uncommonly large cysts and gruesome endometriosis by hysterectomy.  And I don't like it.  Not.  One.  Bit.
Hysterectomy means premature menopause, absolute infertility, and another 6 weeks gone from life.  Six weeks, no picking up and snuggling with my Austin.  Six weeks, no (unmentionable) time with my Brett.  Six weeks, no swimming, no running, no biking, no hiking, no cooking, no baking, no cute stuff for the making!  (sorry, couldn't help my self there.)  I don't WANT to do this again!  I don't want to be sedentary for so long.
Yes, I do know of the famous new daVinci, the breakthrough in surgery with significantly less recovery time!  I WANT it!  I would LOVE to let my doctor use the daVinci on me!  Heck, I can't wait for the day when I get to use the daVinci on someone else!  But, alas, it is not an option for me.  Endometriosis, two previous uncommonly large cysts and two previous surgeries have rendered my nether regions too full of scars for anything other than another long and painful recovery from an open surgery, much like a caesarean section.  Boo.  Not even laparoscopy.

So, the time has come for me to let go of the slight glimmer of hope for pregnancy that I held on to when I decided to keep my right ovary.  I never fully expected it to happen.  Even with both ovaries I only had a very slight chance to bear my own children.  But that chance gave me hope!  Now I have to let it go.  This surgery will just...make it final.  Like when your parents "put [their] foot down" when you begged for that candy bar in the check-out line.  There was always that little hope that you might get to taste that chocolatey goodness if you just begged a little more, until they put their foot down.  Then, it was final.  No chocolate for you.  Hehe.  I think Heavenly Father just put His foot down.  No child-bearing for you, Leslie.  Not in THIS life.

I feel like I'm closing a chapter in my life.  I wonder what the next chapter will bring...